I’ve been caught up in the whirlwind of wedding planning, and it’s been getting the better of me. I figure I might as well fight for what I want now, whilst it’s still early, but I’ve been coming up against brick walls. I’ve never been a conformist. I’ve always liked doing things my way and I’ve always tried hard to be a little different from everyone else (despite understanding that in doing so I’m just like everybody else who’s trying hard to be different!).
As the Groom I get to choose my suit, cars and music. Excitement comes before reality. I’m me right? I couldn’t help but be inspired by Kanye West’s red suit with matching red leather sneakers for my wedding. IE: The idea of wearing a black suit, white shirt and black tie NEVER crossed my mind. And as for the cars, despite Christina dropping hints that she’d love an old vintage car in white I refused to go there. What do cars of the 40’s and 50’s have to do with my upbringing? With my life? Nothing. I’m a car guy and choosing the cars was my part of the job and I intended to have fun with it. Maybe some pimp black current model S Class mercs, or better yet current model Bentley Continentals, or what about a Porsche Panamera or a couple of white R35 GTR’s? And the music? My day, my music. Suggestions of a live band were quickly binned. Wedding singer at my wedding? Unless it’s Jeff Buckley himself, no thanks. Jazz band? Again, what has Jazz got to do with me?! What about music which I love? Gunners, Nirvana, Faith No More…
So I’m feeling pretty defeated. Every single suggestion I’ve made has been met with blank faces which add to my frustrations. Where’s the trust huh?! It’s killing the motivation and excitement before I’ve even had a chance to get obsessive compulsive about the wedding. Those who know me well know that the best of me comes out when I get obsessive compulsive about something, where I can give something my all.
Holy shit I’ve even been contemplating that my whole life has been about rebelling against something, or someone that doesn’t even exist? Who am I trying to impress?!
Breathe.
OK so I’ve got to adapt, and I fuuuucking hate to say this word, but I have to compromise. I’ve got to let go, think about Christina and everybody else (and not just myself) and most of all I have to believe that everything will be beautiful and wonderful on the day.
/vent.
whoa! Groomzilla indeed.
I think, at the end of the day, you’ve got to remember that what you’ll remember from your wedding day is the feelings, the happiness, and the vibes from yourself and everyone around you. The day will be about you two joining as one, the ultimate team, and it will be a celebration of that.
The details, whilst cool, will be background to the above.
Breathe my friend! :)
you know I think its the anal pedantic designers in us all that turn us into ‘zilla’s of some kind during wedding prep.
Maybe the way to soothe your visual heart is to choose a photographer that will do ome sort of wacked out concept shoot of you both before the big day and then you can include the red suit and shoes, the bentleys – or what about bikes?
The day is just one day, but the potographs are forever. Why not have some fun with it?!
Let me know if you need a couple of names, I have tonsof photographic clients in each state that would love to help you out I am sure.
I know they get SOOOOO many requests for dreamy romantic shoots, that something edgy and fun would be great. Let me know :-)
Dude. Some words of wisdom for you. “The” wedding day not “your” day. It is the guests day who are there to celebrate the amazing connection and life long venture between you too. As much as it sucks to say it- you are there to help loved ones celebrate this day- not the other way around.
It’s time to give up that selfishness and share with others. This is what marriage is about.
At your funeral you can play what ever the fuck music you want. lol
I say stay strong, but I like weddings that really reflect the personalitys of the couple.
Put like paul said marriage is all about give and take.
Must be hard hey,
I am having similar feelings when trying to build a car with my gf atm, I can see how hard a wedding would be!
I do believe the wedding is mainly for everyone else as Paul said.
I don’t think it’s a big ask to have your personality reflected in the wedding. Yes, you need to compromise but BOTH of you do. It’s not just about the bride or your families.
This is something I had trouble realising when planning our wedding until after a big fight. It occurred to me that my then-finance wasn’t being a pain in the arse he was actually trying to be involved. He is a designer too and his suggestions were really interesting. As we worked together the day became a reflection of who we are as a couple, which made the wedding personal and fun for our guests.
Don’t get down, do take a breathe.
Try to explain to Christina that you are getting lost and in the process so is the idea of togetherness.
On a side note: music. This is not the time to explore your love of Tibetan throat singers. The DJ needs to be able to play a range of music that encourages your guests to get involved. This does not mean the chicken dance (which was banned at our wedding) and other cheesy songs, but does mean maybe you need to tone down the faith no more and heavy stuff?
Our wonderful DJs told us of a wedding they worked where the couple insisted on only SKA music. Which meant 15 guests were happy but 75 guests were miserable and sat at their own tables all night.
Good luck!
What Astred said. I’d be dissappointed not to see your personality reflected in your wedding. You’re so quirky and cute!
Hi Justin
wedding planning can be pretty exhausting! but like you, I think it is important to have your personality/likes shine through on YOUR (and ‘your’ I mean as you and Christina) day. I guess you do have to compromise with your partner, but I still think you should choose what you want and not what your family wants…
I guess we were lucky as Raff and I have very similar musical tastes and I pretty much chose everything we played on the day and he agreed. I even made mixed cds for the dj to play as I cannot stand the ‘norm’ of wedding music.
Actually I pretty much chose everything for our wedding – clothing, cake, flowers, music, invites…..Raff just left me to it and I just showed him what I was doing along the way haha
It’s probably very easy to get sucked into the whole idea of planning the ‘perfect’ wedding. And in the process, during our OCD behaviour, we forget what’s the important thing – a special day for you two shared with guests. Nothing more nothing less.
So ease up brother, compromise ain’t such a bad thing. What’s more important, everyone is happy to share your special day with you and your missus or your compulsive need to express yourself on your wedding day?
My $0.02, all the best :)
Should I just rock up on the day?
Thanks for all the input guys I really appreciate it and since venting I’ve calmed down somewhat.
In retrospect it’s funny how I’ve gone from wanting to just “rock up on the day” to actually giving too much of a shit!
Netra – I’ve got Matthew Mead booked in as our photographer. He’s a mate, a top guy and I’ve always been a huge fan of his work so I’m 100% comfortable on that front.
when I read your title of “Groomzilla!” I immediately thought your going to use the GTR for the bridal car.. =)
Congrats and all the best with it mate!