Monday Morning Rant – Banned from Instagram


This morning I rant about getting banned from Instagram, and also making moves to sell my house!

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Instagram wins!

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Their platform, their rules. Promise to keep it clean this time! https://instagram.com/justinfoxphotos/

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R U OK? Day

What do you sound like when you speak?

In 2018 I found myself smoking an ounce of weed a week. I didn’t talk to friends. I was comatose. I didn’t sleep in my bed. I had a scab on the right side of my head that I picked off every day. I didn’t shower. I collected big piles of dandruff and dead skin. I urinated in empty soft drink bottles because I was too lazy to walk to my own bathroom.

I hit rock bottom.
I couldn’t find a reason to live.
I was over it.

Despite protest, my Mum took me into the doctors (which ultimately saved my life). I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder and prescribed antidepressants. I’ve always been more of a “rehab is for quitters!” kinda guy. I believed that people who were dependent on antidepressants were weak.

I was scared of my Dad as a kid. He was a large, proud and strong Buddhist man. But I saw a transformation in him when I was 18. He was diagnosed with terminal cancer and as it ate him alive he grew weaker and I took that weakness in a bad light.

In his dying days some random priests at the hospital pressured him into converting to Christianity in order to secure his entry into heaven. He gave up his fight with cancer, he became a Christian and then he passed.
I was disappointed in him for giving up.

When he died I decided to inherit his strength and I vowed never to be weak. I gave myself a deadline. Dad passed away at 47, so in my mind I had until 47 to do absolutely everything I wanted to do in life. I was hungry. I was obsessed. I’ve been there. I’ve done that and then some. I’m now 47 and I believe that this self imposed deadline drove me to make all the marks I’ve made to date, but it was only a few years ago that I learned the hard reality of not being able to choose when it all ends.

The meds helped me to avoid hitting low-lows, but they also stopped me from reaching high-highs.

I was in the middle.
I was numb.
Flatline.

Everything I had ever done of any worth in life had come from meeting the deadline and living through the death of my father, so getting off the meds became a priority and I’m happy to say that I’ve been clean for over 3 years now.

I’ve chosen to make peace with periodically losing my shit. I value the emotional connection I feel when I remember, somewhat romantically, my previous lows. I use my low-lows to create art.

I am an Artist.

If bipolar is about having inflated self-esteem or grandiosity, or being more talkative than usual, or distractibility and an excessive involvement in activities that have high potential for painful consequences, then bring it! I choose to embrace these traits of my mental illness.

So to answer the question; what do I sound like when I speak?

Well, it depends which me you’re speaking to!

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FU Instagram

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What a downer.

I’ve had an image deleted daily for the past week on Instagram (for going against their community guidelines). It’s their platform, their rules. I totally understand this, and just because others on the platform get away with it doesn’t make it right, but it still hurts.

Instagram is a great way for me to meet new models to shoot, so losing that network might become an issue going forwards. For now I’ll sit tight, and see if my account does get permanently disabled. If it does I’ll have to figure some stuff out!

PS: Last night I had a dream where I’d forgotten to take the bins out the night before. I woke up to the sound of the garbage truck close by (I’ve been here before IRL!). I got up quickly to take the bins out before the truck got to my house, but for some reason my bins were next door, so I jumped the fence to get them but my next door neighbour saw me in the process. Thinking that my neighbour was going to be mad about me trespassing onto their property, he pulled me aside and asked “just what gives you the right to post nude photos on Instagram?!”. I thought about explaining my work, but thought it would be useless, so I decided not to. I asked instead if he was the one reporting my posts and his wife came into the room, smirking and nodding “yes, oh yes we’ve been reporting!”.

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Monday Morning Rant – My thoughts on The Sandman on Netflix


My thoughts on Neil Gaiman’s screen adaptation of The Sandman on Netflix which seems to have both the LGBTQ community and Sandman fans in an uproar.

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End of the day just remember, we’re all into Diablo Immortal… until we’re not! LOL! Complain about the game as much as you like as that shows you care, but if anyone on this clan is leaving the game, just be sure not to announce it over the loud speakers. This isn’t a fucking airport, right? So no need to announce your departures here lol!

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Home Chef Willy

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IRL hangs with my new BFAM.

IRL meet up and hangs with my Signature Sound writing buddy and fellow Indo Willy who’s moving into my hood this month. Was great to finally meet Willy in real life. We’ve done a ZEN Podcast together and have done a few zoom calls before too so it (quite strangely) felt a lot like I already knew him and had met him before!

Check out Willy’s YouTube channel here.

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We don’t do anything. The internet does us.

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Why do people hate players that spend money so much?

The shit stirrer in me refuses to die. This morning I came across a reddit post, specifically on the Diablo Immortal subreddit that was titled: “Why do people hate players that spend money so much?”. I come across a LOT of stupid shit on reddit that’s so stupid I can’t be bothered responding, but I like to pick my fights, and this was one I couldn’t resist.

The OP states that he’s spent $1,200 in the game, a lot less than other players, and when he let people know in a previous thread he copped a lot of hate. He then used the analogy of spending $1K a month on a gardener, or a yearly gym membership, and that these 2 unessential things aren’t considered stupid so why should spending the same amount in a game be seen as being stupid.

He wraps up with just wanting to know why people care so much with what he spends on the game.

I responded by saying that his opening line of suggesting that he had spent $1,200 in the game but “others had spent a lot more” instantly discredits him. Just because you suck a lot less than others that suck doesn’t mean you don’t suck.

Then I went to town on his analogies as IMHO both are generally seen as being way more constructive things in life than spending $1,200 on a mobile phone game. It’s arguable that tree trimming and mowing grass in your garden is an essential part of house ownership, and too right, as he suggested, no one should ever think that someone who’s wanting or trying to get fit is stupid.

On his last point about people caring so much. I suggested that he seems to be the one that cares so much as he’s the one who’s made this post in search for some sort of validation on spending $1,200 on a mobile phone game.

Ruthless! Right?

At this time his post had been up for a few hours and gotten a fair few upvotes and a LOT of responses. Despite my post being way down the page I unsurprisingly got a stupid reply. In his response he explains that his point is that it’s his money, and that he should be able to do whatever he wants with it, but “people like me” seem to care too much to understand.

Juicy!

I replied and suggested that ultimately most people would agree that it’s his money and that he can do whatever he chooses to do with it, but that doesn’t mean they’re not allowed to have an opinion on whether or not spending $1,200 on a mobile phone game is stupid, or not. And in regards to “caring”. Just because someone “hates” on him for spending $1,200 on a mobile phone game doesn’t mean they care?

I refreshed the page 30 minutes later and sadly the OP had deleted the entire thread. Damn it! I was really looking forward to getting the popcorn out. My inner troll is unsatisfied!

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Monday Morning Rant


Cremo!

In this morning’s MMR I rant about an awesome shoot I had with Abby (AKA Cremolicious) last week, and the realisation that I’m going bald! I also discuss players leaving Diablo Immortal due to it’s predatory pay to win mechanics.

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