Logged on the Facebook today, they had a video letting me know it’s been 11 years since I signed up for Facebook…

I have no huge regrets in life so far, but one of my fears has been to look back on my life and realise I spent too much of it on Facebook.

I’ve been in a bad place the last few months. I had Ved over recently and at some point we whipped out newspaper articles I featured in back in my design days (2000-2001-ish). In my interviews I often said I wanted to retire at 30, move up north, learn how to surf and be a bum, basically.

I’m 43 now and I think I’m going through the motions of letting go and easing up. I’ve been so hungry to make so many marks in the wall, for so long. My Dad died when I was 18. He was 47 and ever since then I’ve given myself the same expiry date to do everything I want to do in life, and that I feel I’ve done and then some.

I feel a little bit like I’ve climbed Mount Everest, and now that I’ve finally made it to the top I’m realising that I feel no elation at all, instead I’m freaking out about the journey back down the mountain.

For once in my life I’m not really sure what I want to do next, and yeah it’s freaking me out. I feel like I need to find a new reason. Whatever it is I’m pretty sure about one thing; I need a change and this change has to be for me and me only.