Category Archives: Family

Happy drunk.

Kristi Mclellan is one of my best friends and I love her whole family and so it was SO awesome catching up with Lucas (he’s Kristi’s big brother) and meeting his girlfriend Taylor yesterday.

It turns out that Lucas’ girlfriend Taylor is an official photographer for Suicide Girls and was in Sydney to shoot some models (both Lucas and Taylor live in Melbourne), so awesome they had a free day and the energy to come hang out as Lucas and I had so much to catch up on and reminisce about; everything from JDMST to ZEN Garage, friends that have come and gone, drug abuse, bad times and overcoming them.

Was a rad day, lotsa love. So wholesome!

Steak and Duck Fat Fries at The Morrison.

Asians Out! That’s what I’d see spray painted on the walls in large letters taller than myself all over Anzac Parade Kensington back in the late 80’s. 

In primary school I was one of the only Asian kids and I copped a lot of physical abuse. In early high school (Sydney Boys High) I was also one of a handful of Asian kids (many more Asian students came from overseas in the later years and these days Sydney Boys High seems to be at least 90% Asian), and there too I copped a lot of (mostly daily) verbal abuse. 

I was born in Sydney. My Dad was born in Hong Kong and my Mum was born in Indonesia (both of them came to Australia to work). In my teenage years I wanted so badly to fit in with the Aussie guys. I chased after girls with blonde hair and blue eyes. I smoked cigarettes, weed and drank with the cool kids. 

More and more I broke out of my strict upbringing and instead of being scared of my Dad I got used to rebelling against him which made life pretty hard for him, and I’ll always regret that (he passed away from cancer when I was 18). 

In University I dated my first love (we were together for 7 years). She was from up north, a hippy at heart and about as Aussie as they come. We’d often spend time up north at Sandon River, an old fishing village near Grafton where you had no shops, so fishing for your dinner was a thing. 

Even though I was born in Australia I never felt that I was a true Australian until I met her. She made me appreciate the beach, surfing and the environment like never before, and in turn I helped her to appreciate Asian culture. 

Culture is a fascinating thing. It’s quite stereotypical for Asian people to push non-Asian people into trying chickens feet or century eggs just for a reaction. My Dad loved to eat, and would always want to eat animals he hadn’t ever eaten before. He would always make me eat stuff too; snake soup, sharks fin soup etc. It wasn’t too long ago that I was in Hong Kong, and my ex-fiancee’s father thought it would be fun to check my reaction and treat me to lunch at a very old school restaurant where patrons were still spitting out bones right onto the wooden table top. 

In 2005 we had the Cronulla Riots. Australian Flags were burnt, shit hit the fan and I feel that this was a pivoting point where racism fell off Asians and well and truly set sights on anyone with a Middle Eastern appearance, but with COVID-19, racism against Asians is back.

The Chinese are proud. Tradition is valued above most everything else, but tradition is dying (let’s call this ‘change’). Where my family used to have grandma around to enforce and uphold Chinese traditions, I’ve seen my cousins miss out on these experiences, and without grandma around, these ceremonies and rituals we used to practise are now forever gone.

I’m now feeling some of those same feelings I felt all those years ago when I was bullied in school. I feel uneasy. I feel that the Chinese need to be held responsible. I feel that something has to ‘change’.

/rant.

As unattractive as it may seem to all the single ladies out there. I’m a proud mummies boy.

Many years ago I was with my long-term girlfriend when an old wise taxi driver asked me a trick question; who’s cooking is better? My girlfriends or my mums? I replied with the wrong answer. My Mums!

The bible states that you’re not meant to worship idols, but in truth my mum is my hero, she is my idol.

When she was young she rebelled against her parents wishes, and moved to Australia to start a new life. She inspired her sisters to move too. In fact she’s inspired so many of us to just be better people, just like her.

A couple of years ago life got the better of me and I hit rick bottom. Mum was there for me, every day, to help me pick up the pieces. Her love is truly unconditional love, she’s always accepted me for who I am, and has always supported me in what makes me happy.

I’m not religious, but I used to say that if everyone in this world respected the 10 commandments, then the world would probably be a better place. I now think that if everyone could be a little more like my mum, then the world would be a great place.

So please join me in raising your glasses. Here’s cheers to a great human being, my best friend, my mum.

It’s R U OK? day today. The one day a year that most people will think that it’s OK to not be OK.

Having said that, it’s amazing that when I spoke out about not being OK on ZEN Garage I got smashed by a barrage of negative comments along the lines of “take your meds cunt!” and “he’s lost it, unfollow!”.

Let’s get real, every day should be R U OK day.

Yesterday I had a very close friend of mine call me in tears. She’s had a whole lot of shit go wrong for her in the past few months and she had hit rock bottom when her boss decided to fire her yesterday.

She was scared. I was scared.

In this particular case I felt that there was nothing I could say to help her. She obviously wasn’t OK, and just hearing her out wasn’t going to help change much so I suggested she see her GP (which she is today) and also to speak to Kimble Chan, a Hypnotherapist I met recently who helps people in dire straits on a daily basis.

Personally, no friends, web sites or YouTube videos did anything to help get me off the couch, but my GP saved my life by recommending me to a Psychiatrist.

If you know someone who’s fucked up, sure, ask them how they’re going, but if what you’re hearing freaks you the fuck out then suggest they see their GP, better yet pick them up and take them to their GP.

Got up to a beautiful morning. Kristi and I paid both our fathers some honest love and respect.