I’ve always been a loud person but over the years I’ve gotten better and better at listening to people.
After last Monday night’s BMU night ride we stopped of at McDonalds (we’re always starving post rides!) and Tai, one of the guys we’ve been riding with, tagged along. We all know that he’s a vegetarian, and we also know he’s a strong enforcer of the prevention of cruelty to animals but on that night I asked the right questions and he flowed with the answers.
It turns out that Tai’s a very religious guy, so too his wife. He hasn’t got a name for his religion, but it seems to take a lot from Buddhism (escaping the cycle of suffering and rebirth, re-incarnation, kharma, etc.). He sincerely believes he’s going to get “there” (enlightenment? Heaven?) when he leaves this life. He believes he’s been put on the planet to be loving and he posed a question of whether or not you could lovingly kill an animal, which in the past few days has got me thinking.
He is living proof that you don’t need to eat meat. He’s built like a truck and has so much energy on the trails. Is he perfect? Far from it, he indulges in decadent luxurious toys and even sports a leather Louis Vitton wallet, but hey, no one is perfect and he sure as hell is trying.
Instead of arguing (let’s call it debating), which I usually LOVE doing. I decided to listen instead and I feel I got a lot more out of it in doing so.
Yesterday I caught up with Tabitha, who used to run Bold, a new media company which took me on as a graphic design intern in 1996.
At the time I had just lost my father, and I’d pretty much lost the plot. I dressed myself up to be as visually offensive as possible, hair extensions, ripped up clothes, stockings, high heeled boots, it was all about attitude and shoving the bad feelings down. If I could have changed my name to fuck, I would have.
I remember the day when I was called in for an interview at Bold. I sent out 100 CV’s where I crunched up and distored the type on the CV so hard that you couldn’t even read it (IE: My CV as art, attitude, and not just a boring word document). I only got 3 interviews out of 100 CV’s sent (I wonder why?).
I was wearing my big boots, stomping down a sun lit hallway, there was a modelling studio I passed, loud music and a photographer yelling out “yeah baby!” then there was Bold. Tabitha was the boss (a woman, yay!) and she wasn’t wearing shoes. I knew I wanted to work there straight away. She had her Mac tower propped up on a tall wooden stool which looked like it was going to fall off if anyone ever bumped into it. I asked her why she set it up like so, and she explained that she loved the tension of it (what a lady!). She laughed at my cd-rom presentation folio (where others didn’t get it and thought I was too arty) and she gave me the job.
I found Tab on Liz’s facebook just a few weeks ago (turns out she’s friends with Liz, my old buddy and ex-flat mate. Yes small world). I hadn’t seen her in forever, I didn’t even know what she would look like, but we arranged to meet up at Bondi Beach where she lives and works. She had just had a swim, and she was looking great! I remembered her voice (people might look different but they always sound the same) and we walked up to a coffee shop and 2hours of great conversation just flew over our heads in what felt like 10 minutes(so much to talk about!). Back when I was 20, she was my boss, my mentor but we were very much talking as equals now (I’m an adult now, right?!) and if anything I almost felt a role reversal.
It turns out Tab’s been through some hard times in the past few years, and she’s very much healing, re-discovering her worth and in need of good friends and company right now. Again I wanted to talk, so much, but I was so happy to listen too. I’m glad she’s back in my life.