I’ve been in a pretty shit place lately.
Super unmotivated. Smoking a lot (rolling tobacco not weed), drinking a lot, starting to bail out of family get-togethers and shoots too, not showering for days at a time, watching Netflix (Animal Kingdom, it’s great!) and gaming a lot too.
I’m still stubborn AF when it comes to my medication. Trying to stick to 25mg a night (I was at 300mg when I first started early last year) but I find that when I up it to 50mg/night I actually wake up singing and wanting to put Rufus on in the morning to start my day, but it quickly fades away.
This morning I booted up my PC to play some Destiny 2 and bam, it glitched out and the motherboard went up in a puff of smoke.
Maybe it’s a sign.
I’ve spent most of today working on my charcoal (using burnt trees from the fires) piece for the RISE exhibition instead. It’s not been easy, but I’m in the zone for sure. I’m not exactly in a confident place right now, but the music is up and I’m getting my hands dirty.
To anyone else having a shit time right now. I’m with you! Not sure if it ever gets any better, but distractions and good music on full blast help to break up the rhythm and that’s a good thing.