POETRY

My Dad’s burial. That’s me holding his photo.

Call it poetry, call it trash but these are my words. This material dates back to 1994. Cancer is the outcome of my emotional state during the passing away of my Dad. Dirt is a little older than teenage angst but much too young to be a midlife crisis. So what does that make it?

Cancer

It’s foreign to him
Yet it eats away freely
It has no brain or body
But the face of death

* * *

I will feed off you
I will take what I want
You are my host
I am your parasite

* * *

You don’t understand the way I feel
Remember this
Because only when you’re in the shit
Will you remember the story I told you
And only then
Will you feel my pain

* * *

I don’t feel sorrow
I feel hatred
Just like you, I have turned to GOD
But I blame him for everything
I use his name only in vain
And he relieves my sorrow

* * *

Pain Regret Sorrow Jealousy
Regret Sorrow Jealousy Pain
Sorrow Jealousy Pain Regret
Jealousy Pain Regret Sorrow

* * *

Religeon is spelt with an “i” not an “e”

* * *

What will you do
Now that this has happened?
What can you do
Now that this has happened?
See it
Before you believe it
But you wont believe it
When you see it

* * *

He has no will of his own
He is weak
I am disgraced
He has turned to superstition
And believes that GOD will fight his war for him

* * *

I feel hate x 50

* * *

Unstable Justin
He is in a critical condition
Justin
Please pray for him
Justin
If you need anything
Anything you need
Go away

* * *

Dirt

Yes
It’s an obsession
I have your posters
Photos and calendars
All over my room
I’m in love with you so much
No body in the world loves you as much as I do

* * *

I’m lonely
So lonely right now
I hate watching the time tick by
The sound of nothing but the ring in my ears
I feel tired
I feel the consistent thump of blood pumping in my head
I’m making my own hell
In somebody else’s box

* * *

A friend is anyone with money and gifts to give
A lover is anyone who’s willing
A mother is anyone with food and shelter
An enemy is anyone you hate

* * *

He hurts himself
Trying not to hurt himself

* * *

Have never met anyone
That could reach me so deeply like you have
And now you are tearing yourself out of me
It hurts
I’m scared

* * *

Morning never comes when the blinds are closed

* * *

It’s presence surrounds you
You slip away
You let it control you
Your body contorts
Left Right
Forwards
Backwards
And at your height
It fades away

* * *

Restricted area
Keep off
Me

* * *

Distract me
Attract you
Contract these
Abstract thoughts

* * *

God is sacred
God is conservative
God is discipline
God is constant
God is restrictive
God is goodness
God is clean
* * *
Satan is music
Satan is freedom
Satan is sexual
Satan is drugs
Satan is dirty
Satan is fun

* * *

Like driving on an unknown road
You’re lost

* * *

Wooden head
Hollowed out
Covered with human skin

* * *

I love the feeling of being jarred
To be turned out
By someone you lust after
To think that they have it all wrong!
After all, I am just as human as him
And more humane
Than millions

* * *

If you aim for the moon
And miss
Then surely you’ll land amongst the stars
Not

* * *

I have to come
I need to come
I have these dreams
Of head jobs and cunts
It’s been one week
I have to come

* * *

I’ve decided to stay home
Today
Why isn’t anybody calling me?
I’m waiting
Call me you arseholes
I’m home
Pick up the phone
And
Call
Me

* * *

I am dependent
I am owned

* * *

The sky is falling
But no body cares
Their ignorance caused by weakness
Their weakness caused by GOD

* * *