Real Talk.
This morning I woke up to voice messages from my good friend Antonio Logan, a ZEN contributor based in Cary, North Carolina USA. His initial reaction to yesterday’s Trump vs Biden debate is raw AF. You can hear and feel his frustration, his fears and disdain, he’s cut and bleeding. I’m publishing his reaction with his blessing.
ZEN PODCAST 19 – Mike Wyckoff.
Mike Wyckoff is a Canadian car enthusiast who’s been living and working in Japan for 20 years. He runs JDM Parts Ninja and JAPAN AUCTION PARTS.
We discuss Fujin Raijin, careers, Jordan Peterson, trolls, kids and responsibility, Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome, antidepressants, living in Japan, Japanese culture, racism, growing up, photography and censorship.
Visit: http://www.japanauctionparts.com
Mike’s 2012 Kyoto Demon bike feature on ZEN Blog: http://www.zengarage.com.au/2012/05/japanese-kyoto-demon-bike/
What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas… but fuck it. Ima share my Vegas story anyways as it’s something I’ll never forget and also a story that could act as a cautionary tale for those visiting Vegas in future.
A few years back I was in Vegas to cover the SEMA auto show for Toyo Tyres. On the night we landed we decided to go to a strip club. We were in a big enough group to get a private room (which seemed pretty cool but in retrospect was probably a trap!). At some stage I let one of the girls know that I was a photographer and that I’d shot with Miss CJ Miles when she visited Australia, turns out CJ was in the house that night and nek minnit CJ was on my lap.
Everything was a haze from then onwards. I vaguely remember walking around the club on my own like a zombie and I vaguely remember being on a couch with 2 girls who were taking $50 notes out of my pockets whilst I was trying to explain that heeeey, this is what Aussie money looks like!
I woke up the next morning on the floor just inside the door in my hotel room, naked, with the neck of my T-Shirt stretched around my waist, leaving the rest of my T-Shirt looking like a skirt. My passport was sitting on the bedside table next to the bed and I had lost my phone and ALL of my travel money (I didn’t have time to figure out how to use the hotel safe as we’d quite literally just landed and headed out!).
I had no idea how I got back to the hotel. I had no memory of the night before. I didn’t have a hangover, but felt fuzzy AF. It didn’t take me too long to realise that I’d been drugged.
I was pissed about losing all my cash, but I was super upset about losing my phone as I didn’t synch it with the cloud and that meant that I’d lost all of my cheeky private phone pics I’d snapped over the years. Fuck. To be honest I’m still really gutted about this today. I spent the entire day trying so hard to remember the night before but no matter how hard I tried to remember shit nothing came back. The boys let me know that the last time they saw me I was having a good time. I was with CJ and a couple of girls, my hands on ass, boobs, hands everywhere… but fuck it I couldn’t remember a fucking thing!
I spent that afternoon filing a report at a local cop shop. The lady at the station laughed out loud when I told her what had happened. “Happens all the time!” she said, “Every night!”.
The guys did mention that we were split up at some point and I’m pretty sure that’s by design so if you’re reading this, and planning to visit Vegas strip clubs at some point in your life, take heed. Make sure all your cash is in the hotel safe, leave your phone in the safe too. Stick together as a group and in case you do get roofied, bring a hotel card so they know where to dump your body.
SO good to be doing my Monday Morning Rants again!
In this clip I talk about getting off the meds, feeling motivated, watching politics, gaming less, shooting full time, getting back into writing and reddit.
EPISODE 02!
In GEEK’D OUT PODCAST Episode 02 Hawk and I lose Jase and have multiple orgasms of the mind over anime and manga (why do many people still think it’s cartoons for teenagers?), comic books, explicit sexual content in anime, collectibles, the making of Star Wars, cartoon intros and movie title sequences, Naruto and more!
SO good to see modified cars out and about! Just a quick snap Sam took of Andrew Hawkins and I at the Motive End of Month Meet earlier this week.
Hustle & Flow Podcast.
Last year when I was running a design and photo studio I caught up with Leslie Lau, a guy I knew from the car scene many years ago. He’d gone from buff to lean and woke AF. Turns out he’d survived cancer, and in doing so, it set him on a new path in life.
Leslie ended up being a client and good friend.
In June earlier this year he invited me on his “The Hustle & Flow” podcast which he runs with his good mate Shaun Cooper. We had an open discussion about art, the internet, not giving a fuck, society, life and more.
I’ve got to thank Leslie and Shaun for inadvertently getting me back on the horse with podcasts. With Leslie’s blessing I’ve uploaded the podcast we did to the ZEN Garage YouTube channel (find links to Leslie and Shaun’s podcast and socials in the video description).
Have a listen! As Shaun puts it; you might find some nuggets of gold in there!
EPISODE 01!
A couple of my Discord gaming buddies and I have just kicked off the GEEK’D OUT podcast! Join myself, Hawk and Jase as we have multiple orgasms of the mind over video games, science fiction, Japanese animation and more!
In Episode 01: ZEN, Hawk and Jase geek out over Gaming, Star Trek and Star Wars.
Earlier this year I got into a huge debate during a photoshoot with an escort. It started when she asked if I had ever booked an escort before, and when I said no, I hadn’t, she asked why, and when I tried to explain why she raged and by the end of our heated discussion and shoot she insisted that she book me an escort (she even insisted that she would pay for the experience!).
What was my why? Well I’m a bit foggy on exactly what I said, but I’m pretty sure I said a few of the following things; that I’ve never felt I needed to, that when I was younger my friends would go to brothels together but I’d never join them in fear of catching an STD, that I wasn’t cool with married men booking escorts and that one of my best friends is an escort so I know what it’s all about.
She hammered me, suggesting that I was disrespecting sex workers, that I thought I was better than sex workers and their clients, and ultimately, that I wasn’t experienced… And BAM! That got me, that fucked me up as I’m a huge advocate for being experienced. Whilst I disagree that not booking an escort because I’ve never felt the need to means I’m disrespecting escorts, speaking from experience and about experiences is at the base of everything I do so it wasn’t something I could argue.
Let’s just say she planted a seed.
Earlier this month I hopped on an escort listing site and started browsing profiles. OMFG. It felt like window shopping. There were way too many women to choose from, women of all ages and all races. Most of the escorts had their faces blurred out which made me feel like I was body shopping, the thing is, most of the photos I saw were highly edited which made me feel a little nervous. Before too long I found myself much more at ease with profiles of escorts who actually showed their faces as I felt that they were owning it, that they felt more real.
I was having an internal battle between trying to choose an escort I would have a connection with, or choosing an escort that portrays my fantasy woman. I ended up short listing a few girls; some had amazing bodies, some had amazing faces, some had well written profiles (some had not so well written profiles!) but in the end I chose a girl who had a really nice smile.
OK, so I needed to send her an SMS. Fuck this was harder than I thought. What do I write? Do I tell her my age? Do I tell her that I’ve never booked an escort before? Do I give her my entire life story?! In the end I kept it really short and punchy. Hi, something about the warmer weather, wondering if she was available for a booking this weekend, kind regards Justin.
She replied! She was fun and flirty, we locked in a date and I paid her a deposit. The days leading up to the date I got more and more nervous, so nervous that I started breaking out with zits on my face (FFS!). On the morning of our booking she called me, she was crying and told me that she just got some news which totally fucked up her day. Damn! She was really sorry and wanted to refund my deposit. Hey shit happens, right? On the one hand I was crushed and felt that all the nervous energy I’d racked up over the past few days was for nothing, but at the same time I felt for whatever it is she was going through too so I told her to keep the deposit and to get back to me when she felt better.
I felt rejected. Extremely frustrated. I drank a whole bottle of wine to myself that night. I felt like it was a sign and that this wasn’t meant to be.
A few days later she messaged me, apologised again, and we got back to fun and flirty messages. We locked in another date and the whole nerve-racking build up started all over again.
I booked an outcall so on the day of the booking I felt like Tom Cruise in Risky Business (where he waited an eternity for an escort to show up). Every minute felt like an hour. When the doorbell rang I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t help but think of the situation she would be in, not knowing who I was, what I looked like and all the risks involved (I know escorts who insist on hotels as at least they have surveillance cameras and emergency buttons on bedside phones), but as soon as she saw my lounge room she knew who I was, my photography and the other escorts I shoot with. My cover was blown!
In some ways her knowing of me wasn’t a bad thing for either of us. We sat and talked for what felt like ages and then we did the thing.
So was it what I expected? Well I didn’t really know what to expect so I’m not so sure. Was it fun? Yes. Was it worth the money? Yes. I booked her for an hour but we talked for an hour before doing it, then we talked for an hour after so she gave me three hours in total which I’m grateful for. Am I worried I caught an STD? Not really, she was really safe. Am I OK with married men booking escorts? Not really, but I’m not so black and white about it anymore now. It’s complicated. Do I think differently about escorts now that I had booked one? Yeah, for sure. In some ways I feel a bit of relief, like I ticked a box, or achieved a goal on my bucket list but I also can’t quite shake the risks involved for an escort in meeting new clients. Sure, being good at screening would help, but I still worry about my escort friends. Would I book her again or would I book another escort in future? Probably not, but I’m not saying never.
Overall I feel that a stronger connection was what was missing from the experience. I’ve gone for dates with a few women that I met on Tinder that I had really strong life connections with, but not so strong physical connections, and I find this experience similar.
It’s now been three weeks since the booking. We’ve not talked at all since, but I still get (very visual!) flashes from the experience from time to time and when I do it feels… for a better word, good?! It’s definitely something not nothing and might just be the addicting factor for many men who book escorts, but hey, end of the day I’m hyper aware that one experience doesn’t mean I’m experienced. I’m now in discussions with one of my close escort friends about creating a short viral video project about escorting, not to find answers, more to ask questions. More on this project soon!
PS: If you find this hard to read due to the small type I’ve also published it on Medium: https://medium.com/@justinfox_30083/i-booked-an-escort-3d35b406c792
Some great questions being asked on my AMA (Ask Me Anything!) on reddit.
I actually get asked this a lot, especially by younger guys. I think being 45yrs old really helps in this situation as I have a lot of experience, control and a much lower sex drive than when I was younger. When I shoot I use a grid overlay so what I see through the viewfinder is a heavy black grid which helps me to line things up and get the shot. IE: I’m actually working my ass off to get a good composition at all times.
IRL I often criticise other photographers for uploading whack shots to Instagram with my close friends. I mean whack as in crap. Being a professional graphic designer my whole career has helped me to have a sharp eye and respect the grid. It’s clear as day for me to see when a photographer has little to no idea what they’re doing by just checking out their shots and seeing a horrible lack of composition. A lot of these guys get a shit tonne more followers and likes than I do, but I put that down to the fact that they’re just posting boobs and ass.
Being a creeper is on you really. The industry is pretty small and reputation goes a long way. Everybody talks and you can’t hide anything these days so if a model gets creepy vibes, or has a creepy experience with a photographer you can be guaranteed that she’ll talk and the news will get out there.
Models often tell me of bad experiences they’ve had with photographers. I’ve confronted two of these photographers (I couldn’t help myself) and asked them if they masturbate to the photos they take post shoot and both of them have admitted that they do (I’ve not spoken to them since!).
Find more questions and answers on my reddit AMA: https://www.reddit.com/r/casualiama/comments/ivghtb/im_a_full_time_professional_photographer_that/